lizhasdimples

Scary Scary thought

2007-12-27T00:26:26Z

I love him. i love him i love him i love him! i want to scream it! I didn't think i would ever meet someone so perfect for me. someone i don't want to fight with. someone that makes me not want to get extremely wasted cause i don't want to push away or scare away. I'm scared to let him realize how broken i truly am. I don't want to hurt him. I don't look at other guys cause I KNOW they will not compare to him. He's perfect for me. He's everything I ever wanted in a man. I never knew I would actually find that person I made up to protect me from being hurt. I'm scared for the day it's over. I pray it will never come. I will be empty. I wish I didn't think like this. But I feel I have to protect myself. I love everything about him. He's very kind. He's got this amazing sense of humor. AND he laughs at my lame jokes. He loves me. He chose me to be his girlfriend. Sometimes I will sit here and think...this is so wonderful when is it going to end. Why has he chosen me. I don't deserve this. But then I think I cannot think like this. Why don't I deserve to be happy. What did I do that truly makes me so horrible and unlovable? Nothing. I am a caring, loyal person. I have to keep thinking that. I have this subconscious thing that is constantly making me attempt to fuck things up. Why do I do this? I have my reasons. I guess you could just say I am beautifully broken. I just pray I do not fuck this up. He's the perfect guy for me.

convs with my mates

2007-01-10T23:56:07Z

chrisstopherg: so you're done with him because of that?
Liz has dimples: yea basically
chrisstopherg: man thats sad
Liz has dimples: why?

Liz has dimples: basically i am going to alone the rest of my life
chrisstopherg: send him some dirty pics
Liz has dimples: but i'm kinda ok with that
Liz has dimples: ohhh
Liz has dimples: good idea!!!
chrisstopherg: its OK IM alone tooO
Liz has dimples: we can be spinisters together
chrisstopherg: whats a spinster?
chrisstopherg: Spinister?
chrisstopherg: sounds cool i want to be one
Liz has dimples: an unmarried old lady
Liz has dimples: we can be them together
chrisstopherg: Oh scooool
chrisstopherg: COOL
Liz has dimples: us do you think?
Liz has dimples: hey...
chrisstopherg: we can um pretend we're married and pick up young guys
Liz has dimples: where are you living next year?
chrisstopherg: i mean pretend were RICH
Liz has dimples: yes yes
Liz has dimples: i love young guys!
chrisstopherg: OH next year i dont know
Liz has dimples: yes like that one movie
Liz has dimples: gold diggers
chrisstopherg: cause im only there for 1 semeseter
Liz has dimples: oh
chrisstopherg: maybe ill live with cole??!!1/
chrisstopherg: NOt sure yet
Liz has dimples: i wanna find fun people to live with
Liz has dimples: but everyone thinks i am a stalker...
chrisstopherg: you can live with cole and i
chrisstopherg: and ummm we can all be spinisters together
Liz has dimples: yes yes yes yesye
Liz has dimples: that sounds goodf

Liz has dimples: do you think i will get along with cole?
chrisstopherg: yeah HHh so housing could suck
chrisstopherg: MAYBE?
chrisstopherg: hes laidback kind of
Liz has dimples: hmm
chrisstopherg: he smokes a lot of pot though
Liz has dimples: does he like crazy girls that are lesbians for 1/2 the day?
chrisstopherg: hes pretty good freinds with this one lesbian

Liz has dimples: HEYA!
chonald: howdy doodoo
Liz has dimples: WHATS UP?!!!!!!!!!!!
chonald: nothing much
Liz has dimples: you arent supposed to say that
chonald: i really want some chips and dip
Liz has dimples: DUH
Liz has dimples: well
Liz has dimples: go to hyvee
chonald: i'm at work
Liz has dimples: where is work?
chonald: should i leave work to go to the gas station to get some chips?
chonald: west des moines
Liz has dimples: yes you should
Liz has dimples: fuck work
Liz has dimples: where do you even work?
Liz has dimples: i will tell you if its worth staying then
chonald: farm bereau financial services
chonald: ha
Liz has dimples: doing what? bailing hay?
chonald: compooters
chonald: computer stuff and sthit
Liz has dimples: fuck that
Liz has dimples: go get chips and dip
Liz has dimples: you DESERVE them
Liz has dimples: you've worked hard
chonald: i think i'll do that, then
chonald: so, we are going to be roommates next fall?
Liz has dimples: yes
Liz has dimples: chris volunteered you guys
Liz has dimples: and basically i am homeless
chonald: are you in the states yet?
Liz has dimples: uhh are you trying to make me cry or something?
chonald: nope
chonald: i should go get some chippies already
chonald: but, next fall
Liz has dimples: already duh
chonald: don't drink my milk/!
Liz has dimples: i hate milk
chonald: cool, then we won't have a problem
chonald: i'll be back
chonald: i'm just really hungry
chonald: talk to you soon
Liz has dimples: be quick
Liz has dimples: i am going through american withdrawel

academicfactory: probably not as good as your mayo/cheese sandwiches though!!!
Liz has dimples: haha
Liz has dimples: what the hell? i barenly remmeber those
academicfactory: HAHAHHHAHAH
academicfactory: cheese and mayo sandwich+piece of bread with mayo on it in the middle+layer of mayo on top
academicfactory: HAHAHHA
academicfactory: that is the RECIPE
Liz has dimples: haha!!!
Liz has dimples: should i add baby rat head to myspace?
academicfactory: YEAH
academicfactory: I SURE DID

Liz has dimples: shall i add him??
meditATEinschool: HAHAHAHA IF YOU WANT
Liz has dimples: kay m is telling me to
Liz has dimples: she is like i sure did
meditATEinschool: hahaha
meditATEinschool: you could but he would probably walk to wales or somethin
meditATEinschool: and find yo ass!!!!!!
Liz has dimples: ohh shit ohhh shit

lizhasdimples @ 2006-11-27T23:32:00

2006-11-27T22:32:58Z

so...started my new job. Its like being in a room with a bunch of kindergarteners. The people just dont listen. I'm amazed! Its quite shocking! I think I'm going to like it. Or at least I hope so. Its a huge company. I think 700 people so I'll get to meet lots of people. And there are quite a lot of young people. I hope the customers on the phone aren't to mean to me!

Anyway...what i'm confused about.
Nathan.
I deleted him out of my cell. I just didnt want to think about him anymore. He upsets me. I get a text last night from a number that I didnt have saved. Since I lost my phone a while back I texted it back and was like whose this I lost my phone the other week. He wanted to go for a 'chit chat'. I was like yea yea thats fine. And he was like ok pick you up in 10 minutes. I honestly thought that it was one of his friends messing with me. But he phoned me...just to make sure it was me and not somebody who had my phone since I had said I lost it. So I get in the car...and I was like this is a bit random of you?! And he goes yea its my birthday tomorrow, I wasnt ready to go home. He was like all depressed about turning 22. Anyway I was with him when he turned 22. Kinda cute I guess. Or not. I dont know what I am doing! Why do I always do this? Anyway he was like you should text me. And I was like Nathan I've texted you before and you havent replied!! He goes I know i know I'm unreliable. I was just like whatever. We've had plans before and you've totally blown me off. He says its going to be different now. (YEA FUCKING RIGHT. Anyone wanna guess when I call them up crying?) So apparently its going to be different now. YEP YEP. I'm going to try and not get my hopes up. I really like him though...and I guess thats why I let him mess me about. I've known him since I was 18. (he's the reason I came back to american fucking cursing welsh people out) He still thinks I'm the crazy girl I used to be. I try to tell him I'm not. And he thinks I'm a raging alchoholic. I told him that I dont drink anymore. I told him that yes it got out of hand for a while and thats why I dont do it anymore. I dont trust myself. He doesnt really drink. Which I think is awesome. He told me that hes a good boy...and I laughed in his face. I thought that was classic.

blah

2006-11-27T00:43:25Z

he confuses me so much?? AHHHH makes me wanna scream. I dont know why I do this to myself.

me all me

2006-11-10T11:45:57Z

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Inland North You may think you speak "Standard English straight out of the dictionary" but when you step away from the Great Lakes you get asked annoying questions like "Are you from Wisconsin?" or "Are you from Chicago?" Chances are you call carbonated drinks "pop."
The Midland
The Northeast
Philadelphia
The South
North Central
Boston
The West
What American accent do you have? Take More Quizzes

haha

2006-11-09T19:35:51Z

faijex: i think reese thought i thought he was taking advantage of you
Liz has dimples: yea hahah that was funny
Liz has dimples: i think you scared the crap outta him
Liz has dimples: i thought it was hilarious
faijex: lol
Liz has dimples: i dont even know why he came in with me
Liz has dimples: i was just wasted
Liz has dimples: i hate it when people try to look after me when i am wasted
Liz has dimples: it pisses me off
Liz has dimples: he like took my phone off me so that i couldnt drunk dial or whatever and he never gave it back
Liz has dimples: so i am like super pissed off
Liz has dimples: i am just like what the fuck...its not your job to look after me
faijex: yeah but think of all the people who had a better night because he did that
faijex: like...me for one, cause im sure you would have called me
Liz has dimples: haha shut up!!!!!!!!!!!!! you love my drunken voice mails

I dunno

2006-11-09T09:36:38Z

sooo i have this friend who has this irritating habit of taking my phone off me when i'm drunk. Its cause he gets really jealous and we're not even going out. WTF MAN...we're just FRIENDS. THATS ALL. NOTHING MORE AND NOTHING MORE WILL EVER EVER HAPPEN. If i want to embarrass myself and drunk dial people i'm gonna do it regardless of if you take my phone off me or not. I'm sooo agitated right now cause I dont know if he has it or if he lost it. Cause I remember him taking it off me last night and now I dont have it and I'm pretty sure the sim card is out of the phone cause when i call it, my calls to it dont go through. And I need it cause I made plans with someone for today. I AM SOOO FUCKING PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW. I dont have anybodys numbers...and i dont have his to phone him up and be like bitch do you have my phone. Cause I would call him up at this hour cause I'm still drunk and I'm fuming. I hate when people try and take care of me when I'm drunk. JUST LEAVE ME BE. If i'm stupid enough to get that drunk then thats my own damn fault. MAYBE I LIKE IT THAT WAY. NO NOT MAYBE...I DO. I get in these states out of my own free will and for a reason so just leave me be!!!!!!! OOHHH i am soooo irritated. I have to wait until i can somehow get ahold of him before I shut off my phone. AHHHHHHH I WANT TO FUCKING SCREAM. This is the 3rd time hes taken my phone off me and took it home with him. PISSED THE FUCK OFF. I'm gonna try and go back to sleep...but i can never sleep when A.)i'm this angry and B.) i'm hung over. It makes my skin crawl just thinking of him going through my text messages...he'll probably shit his pants...thats all i can say about that. Not for the faint hearted...at least not the ones i sent yesterday afternoon. Thank god I have never sent a text message where he was the subject.

Why I wont be drinking ever again

2006-06-28T14:24:01Z

Ok so last thursday I pulled my first ever sickie. I was just in a bad mood and I left work to go get drunk with Dom and Bunky at dom's house. If you believe in Karma then this is a story for you. I got really really trashed and ended up knocking over a pint glass and falling on it. I had a massive cut on my lower back right by my tattoo that was an inch deep. Upon falling on the pint glass I pass out. So my friends freak out and call 999(911 in this country) an ambulence shows up to take me to the E.R. and I guess I was swearing a lot like OWWWWWWWWw it fucking hurts. The paramedics told me to stop swearing. I get in the ambulence and i dunno maybe i was swearing some more but they almost chucked me out to make me walk to the E.R. and I just remember one of the paramedics saying he doesnt get paid enough for this. I told him i dont get paid enough for it either...meaning that I have to deal with drunk people in work all the time. HAHA But I didnt add the work bit cause I was so wasted. Anyway I think I passed out again cause I wake up to my friends raiding the E.R. drawers and stealing medical supplies and I say well i guess we aren't going to creation tonight then hahahahah (creation is a night club)So the nurse says she is going to sew me up now and send me on my way but in my drunken dramatic state I say you aren't touching me until my dad gets here! So my friends call my dad to come while the nurse makes me sit in the waiting room bleeding everywhere! Eventually my dad comes and I get sewn up. 15 stitches! The best part about this story? I was raging around the E.R. in my work uniform which is now all bloody. Try and explain that one to your boss. So i will never drink again because I was pretty close to being in a wheelchair the rest of my life. OH but my brother did say that if i had ended up in a wheelchair that they would have entered me in the special olympics and he would have come personally to cheer me on!

WHY

2006-06-21T15:22:23Z

i need to stop all this drinking...isnt there anything else to do??????? I got trashed last night while watching the england vs sweden game, pretty much wasnt functioning all to well and my friends put me in a taxi to lewis's house...dunno how much they paid the driver cause he didnt give me change BITCH. Hmm well anyway what i am saying here is i really should have gone home. I really dont like my boyfriends seeing me in my drunken states especially since exes in the past hated me when I drink. Screw them they just dont know how to have a good time. HMMMM well i am in wales now so its ok but my stomach hurts really bad and I am really hung over and I really need to stop drinking. Well american eagle took the money from my credit card but I cant track my shit so I assume its on its way though. AH gonna go to bed now and feel sorry for myself. I gotta work tonight till the wee hours of the morning. I can still taste beer on my breath despite brushing my teeth 3 times. ICK.

lizhasdimples @ 2006-06-19T16:51:00

2006-06-19T16:00:49Z

updating this for chelsea!!!!!!!!1
Whats been going on for the past few months? I cant believe I've worked at Gala casino for 3 months now. OH and I have a boyfriend now named lewis...i dont think this one is psycho...but only time will tell. Just kidding hes not crazy. I really like him and I almost feel like I am not good enough for him. Crazy huh? He's taking me to wimbledon on the 27th I am so stoked! I shall write about the story about how we met sometime soon. Um I cant wait for chelsea to come to Wales, you need to get your ass over here! I am still pretty homesick but I dont hate Wales anymore. I am actually quite enjoying it despite the fact that its not home. I just ordered clothes from american eagle and I cant wait for them to get here. Oh no though my credit card is maxed out AGAIN. TOtoally worth it. Um my manager at work is in love with me but hes a big creep but thats a funny story as well so ask me about it. I got drunk and fell over in the reception area at work while on a job outing. OPPS! Thats a story for another time as well. They fed us alcohol just so you know. Um its pretty crazy how everything is fueled by alcohol over here. If you showed up for this work activity you free alcohol to drink on the spot for example. If you do well at work you get bottles of wine. Its so insane!!!!!!!!!!!! Get a life!!!!!!!!! But I am basically telling myself to get a life here!! Anyway my drinking tolerance has gone way way up! Not that its something to be proud of in america but hey i am living in the binge capital of the world. How sad. I have been watching the world cup...usa is rubbish. YOU SUCK USA! I'm so sad! But I will stand by them. I wanna come home for a visit. Ok I am gonna go to sleep now! Chelsea git ur arse over here! Chin chin for now!

Last nights Adventure

2006-03-30T16:27:53Z

I woke up this morning still drunk from last night with bruises all over my arms. This is usually my first clue that I had to be carried a lot the night before. Carol informed me that we went into Cardiff to the bars last night but I have almost no memory of this. We had decided to celebrate me getting a job. The celebration started out at the house playing Fuck the dealer...where I got fucked...and since we were drinking vodka instead of beer I got really drunk really fast. At this point we decided that Carol was going to pretend to be a transexual when we got to the bar and talk in a deep voice. (we never got around to doing this cause we were to fucked by the time we got there) I had meant to get ready before I started drinking but we were just going to play one game really fast so I didnt think I would be to drunk to function to well. Choosing an outfit when you are drunk is really not a good idea...especially in my case. I almost walked out of the house in a French maid costume. Not good at all. Thankfully I reconsidered at the last minute much to Carol's disappointment. So we walked to the local bar in the pouring rain and we got drenched. Along the way I decided that Carol was not drunk enough and so I went and bought some more Vodka and force fed it down her throat. I honestly didnt think the woman in the store would sell it to me...I was trying my best to act sober but I was really really drunk at this point. We get to the bar looking like drowned rats. We went to order drinks only to get carded because apparently we dont look 18?????????? The bartender could not figure out our iowa drivers licenses which was funny. We asked the bartender which one of us looks more american, and he chose me...which we told him that he failed because I am English American. We decided to go play snooker, but actually never got around to it, because we went in search of someone who spoke welsh. We found someone and made him tell us how to say "I want to fuck a crazy american in the ass." We got this on video so we have been practicing our welsh because it could come in handy one day. My memory of last night pretty much ends here...but I am going to make Carol write about the rest of the night. P.S. I was going to kick some guy in the nuts but I couldnt manage in my drunkeness but I do not remember what he did to deserve this. Also the photos from last night are going into the "Vault of Shame."

Part 2 of last night By Carol Poist...rhymes with moist

We had planned on catching the last train into Cardiff but that didn't quite pan out, we missed it by like 2 minutes. Well our drunken selves decided fuck it, we are just going to take a taxi into town with some random guy named Nick we had met at the local pub. We got into Cardiff and it was still pouring rain. We walked around for a bit trying to find someplace that wouldn't charge us cover and we stumbled into Edward's. While we were there I told Eli that she should go talk to these weird guys sitting at a booth, and possibly give them a lap dance. Well, she talked to them, but no lap dance. (sniff sniff..so sad) We had one drink there even though Eli deffinetly did NOT need one. After that we walked in the rain some more, and tried to go into bar called Metro's. The bouncer decided that Eli was far to smashed to be let in cause if they did then they might lose their licence....bullshit! Well they let me in to go to the bathroom but the line was too long so we left, but not before we commented on the bouncers bald head and gave it a rub for good luck. He was nice about it, and said that if we wanted to we could come back in a half hour when she had sobered up. Wasn't gonna happen. Still pouring rain, we hiked over to the Great Western. Eli almost killed herself going down the stairs, but luckily some people broke her fall. I spose I almost killed myself too, I think I fell on my fat ass, but who knows. We danced, and danced....and then held up Eli while she attempted to dance. Nick(the guy from the local pub) was a good sport about all this. We had another beer or two and had to wee wee again. Somehow this time we decided it would be a good idea to go into the men's bathroom. I think it is cause like last time, Eli almost died going down the stairs (drunks and stairs do not make a good combo you silly Welsh people!) and this nice bloke caught her...we wanted to stalk his sexy body....not quite. Maybe some pictures will be added later! We went to Chippy Lane to get some food before going home and while we were in one of the shops some guys were making fun of Eli and her drunken state. When we left they started laughing even harder cause Eli sorta bashed her head into the side of the wall. I yelled at them until we were like 2 blocks away, threatening to kick them in the balls. Got a taxi home and while we were walking the 20 feet to the house Eli kicked one of her shoes off into the neighbors yard, luckily Nick went and picked it up, and then for some reason we invited the Nick guy inside. We talked about fleshy fellas, chess (Eli knocked over like a whole shelf of chess books), and american lazy boys, among many other things.

Dont get mad...get elizabeth!

2006-02-18T13:40:11Z

Ok so last night...yea i was a huge bitch. But I think she deserved it. She really did. Whenever I try to call Carl his gf hangs up on me or tells me I have the wrong number. So last night she was doing the usual thing and she was on the phone. So I called her a bitch and a cunt. HAHAHAHAHA I thought it was funny. And then she hung up. ANd so I called again and she told me I had the wrong number and she was like who is this and I was like Gwen who is this? She said it was Cindy. SO I asked her if she wanted to make out and she was like sure. HAHA so I preceeded to make kissy noises on the phone and then told her to eat my twat and she hung up. I left a few messages cause i had called up jenny laughing cause i thought/think it was really funny. Jenny told me to apologize. So I left messages apologizing...it went something like this. This is a message for Carls gf Jenny wants me to apologize BITCH. And then there was another apology message where I told her that if she hurt carl I would kick her ugly ass. I found this very entertaining last night I'm sad to say. Cause I suppose it does make me look a bit crazy! Yea I'll admit it...i had fun doing it. Oh yea and i fell flat on my back last night on the fucking dance floor. WHOOPS. Some very cute boys helped me up. YAY FOR CUTE BOYS! I love getting drunk in bars...I always have a great time.

lizhasdimples @ 2006-02-10T15:44:00

2006-02-10T15:45:13Z

things been getting really crazy lately...just trying to make sense of the blur. FUCK.

double shots for 99p?? what?!

2006-02-02T16:24:02Z

Ok so another crazy night out on the town. but i had loads of fun really. my head hurt really bad though this morning. There were double shots for 99p at Metros so it was just a excuse waitng to happen really. got fucked up...um and i pissed in the ally cause there was to long a line for the ladies bathroom...only to pull up my pants and realize that 3 guy workers had come out a back entrance. they told me it was the highlight of their night. WHOOOPS! I'll wait in line next time for sure! I finally understand my drinking style. Its totally british. they like to get really really drunk and go nuts over here. I feel like i am describing myself. Well i am aren't i? I am british and that is my drinking style. I'm at home on that front if not anything else! Not feeling the greatest today naturally...but i already made plans to head out at 7pm. I've literally had like no sleep so i dunno how things are gonna go tonight. Maybe have to get tipsy and call it a night i think. In other news...we finally got the keys to our new house and so I saw it on Monday. I really like the backyard. We have a pond!! We are gonna get fish for it! I'm way excited! I need to work on getting a job...that's my next plan of action. And I need to take a break from drinking for like a week...so my body can recover.

Whats my excuse?? Why it was a friday night of course.

2006-01-28T16:54:28Z

So i got extremely wasted last night. I drunk dialed everyone in my phone book and walked down queen street screaming about welsh peoples dongs and about how small they are. Let me get this straight for you though...I haven't seen a welsh persons dong! I dunno why I felt it necessary to scream about them last night. So I drunk dialed carl...and got his new liz whoops! Cause seh answered the phone. I preceded to tell her that I was anialated and then hung up. Basically i made an ass of myself. I think I drunk dialed everyone about 3 times on average. I drunk dialed Brad to see if he would come pick me up and I think i asked him to come pick me up so we could make out. I drunk dialed nathan and he was at work and i got to talk to everyone there totally drunk off my ass. But that was the highlight of my night really...talking to everyone at work! I wonder what they think cause at that point in the night i was screaming about how i hate wales and about how small welsh dongs are. Basically I made an ass of myself last night! But I did dance my ass off at the bar!

hiya

2006-01-26T16:28:40Z

So I am trying to keep as open a mind as possible in this windy country. I am starting to get more pissed off and more frustrated as the days go on. I called up just about everyone of my friends in America the other day just to be able to understand what people are even talking about and not to have to really fucking concentrate and say pardon about a millions times before I just say forget it. Well it really doesnt go like that but yea i'm just in a bad mood LOL! So I have this fucknig insane idea...its just totally nuts I realize this but i am about as serious about it as I can be. I'm thinking about coming back to Iowa and joining the reserves. That way they would pay for college and all that shit and I would have something to fall back on. I am really at a loss of options which I think my parents tend to enjoy doing to me. I hate this country...I dunno why I even thought it would be any different than last time. I realize that I need to give it more of a chance and that is why I'm not hopping on the first flight outta here. But I am pretty sure that its just a matter of time before that happens! In other news...I have been having a ton of fun going to bars and getting drunk and dancing. I went to this bar called the Cuba and had so much fun dancing with this dude with a fashion mullet...only i'm not for sure he had one cause that night is a little foggy. But it would make the story better if he did have one right?! LMAO I danced with a french dude and I couldn't understand a word he spoke except for FRANCE! haha oh lordy lordy! On Saturday I am going Salsa dancing with another american girl that I met...I am really looking forward to it! I cannot wait!

ok its really not making much sense anymore...

2006-01-05T07:30:02Z

nate: its good that you have other friends and that you do stuff with them
nate: Here's an example.You go with andy... i stay home... i get bored... im thinking about you... i wish you were with me instead... i get jealous... i dont want to be jealous, because its okay that youre with andy. he's more of a friend for you than i am... but im still a bit jealous, because he gets you and i dont... me being jealous frustrates me.
nate: so i get mad at me, not you
nate: because your actions are justified
nate: what you are doing makes sense
nate: its just like your mom telling you not to play in the street. you really want to, and you get mad because you want to and you cant, but your mom is justified in telling you not to.
nate: kind of
nate: or maybe im overanalyzing this too much
nate: im just trying to get you to see a little bit of how i think and feel, so you dont think im as kooky as i may seem
nate: and like i said before, this being jealous and getting frustrated and stuff... its really not that extreme or serious

haha just to prove my point...

2006-01-05T07:22:42Z

Ok well when I first started writing this blog I was talking to my friend that is irritating me online...i thought it was going to be shorter but he kept going on and on. Is it just me or do I have a stalker on my hands? LOL
nate: i was just being fussy about everything
Liz has dimples: why?
Liz has dimples: you do get fussy about a lot of things
nate: why was i being fussy?
nate: not really
nate: but it depends on my mood and whats going on
nate: ive just been kinda bothered cause i havent been able to see you in awhile. i know it shouldnt be that big a deal, but i just missed you a lot when i was gone and drove 90 miles an hour in fog that i could only see 50 feet in front of me so that i could be home in time to catch you.
nate: but then you were already gone.
nate: i expected you would be, but was hoping you wouldnt
nate: and so then, shannon was also having a problem with kyle and so we were both just kinda glum, and thats when we decided to rent a chick flick (i know its horribly gay) and just sit and watch it.
nate: and then you called during the movie and i just didnt know what to say, and i didnt want to talk, because i didnt want to say anything mean
nate: so i took her home after the movie and went to bed
nate: then today i was hoping maybe we could do something, but that didnt work out either
nate: and with my car quitting on me
nate: that just bit the crap out of me and made me really hot
nate: the car thing that is
nate: and i dont know how it is with you, but when something makes me really mad, i start making everything else seem worse as well
nate: kind of an overexaggerated, emotional thing i guess
nate: this is all really stupid, because i know there isnt anything between us, and its not like you're obligated to spend every possible moment with me
nate: and i dont expect that
nate: but it just seems like i can't stop wanting to see you
nate: and what gets me the most is that no matter what you do, or how jealous or flustered or bothered i get about stuff with you, i still can't stop liking you
nate: you think im crazy
nate: sorry i just spilled all that out
Liz has dimples: haha no no its fine
nate: i like how i can be open with you
nate: and dont feel like i have to hide anything
nate: i can be myself
nate: i feel comfortable with you
nate: and of course you're pretty and you smell good and all that stuff too
nate: which makes it even harder to not want you
nate: I just don't know
nate: I guess i just wish there could be/could have been more between us
nate: thats it
nate: but you probably knew that alreadyu
Liz has dimples: a little
nate: i dont know how obvious i made it
nate: maybe i was better at hiding it than i though
nate: thought
Liz has dimples: nope
Liz has dimples: you're not LOL
nate: heh
nate: oh well
nate: i guess i didnt really want to hide it that bad
nate: so is stuff weird now?
nate: cause ive kinda started accepting things as they are
nate: hmm...
Liz has dimples: things as what?
nate: well, that just because I wanted us to be more, that doesnt change things. it wasnt just up to me. It was up to you too, and i cant expect things to always be like i want.
Liz has dimples: i have a question for you
nate: go ahead
Liz has dimples: why do you get jealous or flustered or bother with me?
Liz has dimples: cuyase you said that
nate: heh
nate: cause im selfish
nate: cause its annoying when i want to do something with you and you end up doing something with someone else
nate: but i know you have other friends and want to be with them too
nate: and thats okay
lnate: it just sucks when i dont have anything else to do
Liz has dimples: can i say something without you getting mad?
nate: you can say it and ill try to not get mad
nate: i mean yes
Liz has dimples: I do have other friends...people that i've known a lot longer than you. And i'm moving in 6 days and i want to spend as much time with them cause I dont know when i'll be back if ever
nate: exactly
nate: it makes complete sense
nate: and the fact that i get jealous (its not as bad as it seems) kinda bothers me too because you have more reason to be with them than with me
nate: and thats why i dont get mad at you
nate: i get frustrated at myself for being jealous about it
Ok so I suppose I should have stopped egging him on by asking questions but whatever. I changed his sn though so people wouldnt know who he was.

soo

2006-01-05T03:42:01Z

I am getting so irriated with one of my friends. Its almost like he thinks we are dating. Which I have made VERY clear that we are not. Hes acting all jealous and pissy when I go and hang out with someone else. But I'm leaving in like 7 days. I want to hang out with my friends, and right now I dont want to deal with some bullshit drama that is so stupid its pointless. I think he seems to think that if i weren't moving we'd be dating or something. NO NO NO NO!!! I am just getting to the point where I am on my last straw. I dont know how much of him i can deal with anymore. And I dont want to be dealing with this my last few days in this country. I'm so irritated I could scream. Hes so clingly. And trys to make me feel guilty for hanging out with other people when the fact is I really dont want to hang out with him. I dont want to be rude though. Hes a creep. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHhh alright hopefully its out of my system now!

YAY!

2005-12-09T21:09:29Z

So I am getting so excited to move to Wales. I feel restless. I can't wait. I've been emailing the people I know over there. They are excited that this crazy american is moving back! I'm really truely excited to be going back to school. I'm even more excited about the nightlife. It's gonna be so much fun. I can't wait for December to be over! But I have a lot planned for these last few weeks. I'm getting tanked tonight. I have my birthday party next friday. My sister and my dad coming home for christmas and we're gonna go out and celebrate my bday when they get back. New Year's Eve at Jenny's and Lora's. I'm gonna go down to Iowa City for one last weekend at the bars. I feel all antsy in my pantsy. HAHA I am talking to my sister on AIM. When we get over there she wants to go clubbing with my mom. HAHA I told her that we have to get my aunt to go cause my mom will be more likely to go then. And I know Angela will be totally up for it. Anywayz! I feel like dancing!